The other day I saw a meme on Facebook that said, “ do something today that your future self will thank you for.” I am all for this from a health standpoint, but it was being used on this occasion as a marketing technique to encourage someone to invest in a business seminar.It got me thinking about how in the hell I got here.Back in 2016, with no understanding of what I wanted to do with my time or my life, I was obsessed with figuring out my calling. I pored through articles about how to find your passion, took countless interest inventories, asked everyone I knew what their dream job was…and still could never, ever, in a million and a half years have told you I was going to find my calling in coaching. EVER.Sometimes we box ourselves in by thinking we have to stick to a plan just because we chose to try it.

Guys, I have told myself for years and years that I hate change. For several of those years, I really did. Change threw me into an anxiety spiral, I had surges of crushing panic and lashed out at the people around me.Change is so bizarre, isn't it? For me, I feel like the lack of control when it comes to change is what triggers all those negative reactions.Since perfectionism has always been a challenge for me, being in control (so that I could make things perfect!) was a major theme in my life. Not knowing what's going to happen, not knowing what to expect - TERRIFYING, because I wasn't in control.Several weeks ago, my therapist challenged me to try and not play everything out to the nth degree. Just BE in this journey. When I heard that, honestly, I thought, "Pfffft. Okay. That'll happen."