Big Life Transitions Disrupt Everything
One of the biggest threats to a consistent self-care routine is a big life transition.
When you become a new parent, suffer a loss, retire, start a new job, or go to college, your entire daily experience changes.
This can completely throw off your regular routine and will definitely impact your self-care routine.
In fact, that's what's supposed to happen.
A big life transition may necessitate an overhaul of your self-care routine. It will definitely change it for a period of time, because your needs and wants will change for a period of time. Just like when you're first setting up your regimen, it will take you time to understand what needs to change and why.
As you adjust to your new daily experience, keep these 5 rules at the forefront, and you'll manage your transition better!
5 Self-Care Rules You Need to Follow During A Big Life Transition:
1. Eat, Sleep & Hydrate
These are the Big 3.
Even when you're starting a new job, have just become a parent, or your routine has changed due to something like retirement, you have to consistently eat, sleep and drink water.
Your food doesn't have to be super fancy, home cooked fare. Eat SOMETHING. Eat ANYTHING. Get some nutrition in your body.
Sleep is the same. You don't need to be sleeping 8 hours a night, but sleeping when you can, as often as you can, is key.
If you begin to suffer true insomnia, you need to contact a mental health professional, as too long without sleep can be incredibly detrimental.
When you see water, drink it. Is someone offering you water? Drink it. Is there a vending machine with bottled water? Get some.
A good trick is, every time you get up to go to the bathroom, get more water.
If you become mindful of getting water into your body, you'll end up drinking enough water in no time.
2. Be Flexible
Flexibility is going to become key.
You're going to think you need to do this, that and the other during this transition.
You're going to quickly realize that with some of that, you either can't do, whether because of physical limitations or the lack of time, or you simply don't want to do.
That is absolutely, totally, completely fine.
Your needs and wants are going to shift during this transition.
They might shift temporarily or permanently. Whichever happens, be flexible.
Don't force things you can't do. Don't tell yourself you have to do things you don't want to do.
When a big transition is happening, you can't always continue on exactly as you have been, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Image by @morgane_lb
3.Slow Down
This transition is going to require more from you emotionally and physically.
You're having to adjust to a lot of new at once. You may be learning a whole new set of things every day. You may be taking on more responsibility. You may be doing all of the above.
Slow the hell down, friend.
Take a nap when you need to. Carve out time on the weekends to do nothing. Eat your meals sitting down, with a fork and knife. :)
You are allowed to take your time.
You're allowed to take your time as you learn. You're allowed to take your time to make decisions. You're allowed to take your time to fully adjust.
You're allowed to take time for yourself, even. I know. What a concept!
Take your time.
4. Be Honest
This here is a big one. You cannot confidently and comfortably make it through these transitions without being honest about what's working and what isn't, and about how you're feeling as you move through it.
You are in a new situation. You cannot be expected to know all the things. Nor can you be expected to feel 100% confident about how you're doing all the things.
Ask your questions. Get your answers. Pretending everything is fine is only going to make things a shit ton worse in the long run.
In that same vein, you may find that as you learn new things and take on new things, some of those things just do not work for you or your brain or your body.
Don't keep trying to make it work! If it's broke, fix it, friend.
Your feelings around all of this new stuff may be incredibly complicated. That's totally understandable and more than reasonable.
You don't have to keep those feelings to yourself just because they're complicated. Talk to your people. Whether it's your everyday support team, your therapist, your coworkers, or your partner, let someone know what you're feeling.
Honesty during times of transition will help you more than just about anything else.
5. Ask For - And Accept! - Support
I know you're shocked this is a rule. Ha!
Seriously, though. Self-care does not work without consistent support.
I will repeat that.
Self-care does not work without consistent support.
When self-care intersects with a huge period of change or transition or newness, even if you are THRILLED about it, you need support more than ever.
There is so much balance that goes into trying to maintain your self-care regimen, learn and adjust to all the new things, and figure out how the newness is going to incorporate itself into your life permanently.
You cannot do all that alone. You just can't. I know you think you can. I know you want to think you can. Believe me, you just can't. Sorry.
So - who is going to support you?
Is there someone in your life who has gone through this kind of transition before? Reach out to them.
Who are your go-to supporters in life? We all have these people. LEAN ON THEM.
Make sure they have the energy and mental bandwidth to be leaned on, but lean on them, please.
Let them be there for you as you navigate all the new shit, and then be there for them when they need you.
Image by: @kellysikkema
Self-Care Practices Will Help You Weather A Major Life Transition
Change can be so hard. Often you can feel completely unprepared.
Even if you are so excited about the change you're embarking on, it can still be a whole whole lot.
Self-care practices can and will help you as you move through your transition. The Three Pillars can be a huge help as well.
Remember that things will be a little different at first, and that's to be expected. Do the best you can as you go, and take care of you.
That will help the rest take care of itself.
Ready to create your own self-care regimen? Experiencing a big life transition and needing one on one support? Click here to schedule an Intro Call for individualized coaching with me. Let's take care of you!