Hey there! If you've purchased my guidebook, you know that a major part of my process is crafting a vision statement. I know, I know! Everyone and their dog has had you put together a vision statement, and it's just kind of silly, right? I get it! I really do. When I first started working on different versions of life inventories and vision statements, I thought it was sort of ridiculous. That being said, I really have found immense value in having a short go-to statement I can keep in view when I am planning, reflecting, or setting goals.So, the basics on a vision statement are pretty much the same no matter whose formula you are using: Use the present tense, Use "I" and keep it pretty succinct.With self-care, I want to challenge you to add another layer by answering these three questions:
What do I need?
What do I want?
What can I do?
These questions are something that I didn't honestly answer for a long time in my self-care journey, and it tripped me up A LOT. Sometimes, especially in the constant state of overstimulation that we live in, it's easy to decide that we want or need something that we actually don't. The key here, is being brutally honest with ourselves.I have to be very very tapped in to my inner self to answer these questions honestly, and frequently I answer them with my "ideal" instead of my "real". A few months later (having failed over and over again to achieve "the thing") I'll have a lightbulb moment in an elevator and recognize a better path to walk.For example, in January I added "learn to cook healthy meals" to my yearly goal list. Why did I do this? I did this because Martha Stewart and Oprah and Good Housekeeping and Facebook were constantly telling me that half the things I was eating were "wrong", "bad", "giving me acne", "keeping me from abs to kill for", and the like. Guys. I don't have acne. I don't care about abs. Most of the time I hate labeling ANY food "bad" because I feel that in moderation, most things are fine, at least for MY body. Oprah and Martha wanted me to try their recipes, though, and so at the beginning of the year, still in a grief cycle after a season of loss, and feeling tired and kind of "blah," I decided I was going to learn to cook healthy meals.Then I did exactly zilch to move toward that goal. It took months for me to recognize that I didn't want to learn to cook healthy, didn't need to learn to cook healthy, and didn't have the time to learn to cook healthy. What I needed, for my body, was to lay off the more processed foods. What I wanted was an easy and efficient way to do that. What I could do was use my crockpot. BAM! A plan materialized.You ever hear the expression, "don't should on yourself?" That is exactly what I did y'all! I wanted to live up to some glossy, idealized version of "health" without checking in with what MY ideal version of "health" was.This has been a pattern throughout my life, and I think it's borne of two things: perfectionism and unrealistic expectations. We all want the glossy version, right? We want the color coordinated outfits in our spotless living room in our coastal home.Life is a little messier though, most of the time, and the one thing that we can do to ensure that we feel our best mentally, physically and emotionally is to honor our needs and live the best way we know how. I go back to these three questions again and again and again in the pursuit of that kind of life. I fail again and again and again, too. Ha! Each time, though, the period between me answering these questions with my ideal and the moment I realize what the answers actually are gets shorter and shorter and shorter.So, as you begin to work on a vision statement to carry with you in your every day, really lean in to these questions. What would fulfill you most? What lights you up? What do you enjoy? I want you to thrive. I want you to smash your goals, prioritize yourself, and love every minute of it. Put all of that into your vision statement, and know that it will be a touchstone to get you where you want to go.
