Why Burnout Is So Damaging
The most common affliction for people who have finally looked into self-care of some kind is burnout. It damages you mentally, physically and emotionally. It can take years to get to burnout, but the fallout is swift, my friend. Once the damage is done, it can take a terribly long time to undo it.
The good news is that it CAN be undone!
A lot of people don’t realize that they’re actually suffering from burnout. Humans tend to blame themselves if they feel like their lives aren’t perfect, and burnout is no exception. It can be easy and very convenient to not recognize burnout, and instead think that you’re just in a slump, doing something wrong, or need to adjust your attitude.
This is especially true if you are surrounded by a culture of toxic positivity. When you can’t speak out about how drained you’re feeling because the default is “stay positive!,” not speaking about it only makes it worse, and having everyone around you “positive” makes you wonder why you aren’t feeling the same.
So, here you are, completely drained, not understanding exactly what’s happening and, more importantly, not knowing what to do about it. Are you burned out? Here are 7 signs you just might be.
Common Signs of Burnout:
1. "Doing Something For Fun" Means Nothing
When was the last time you thought of something you could go do for fun? Not something that a friend of family member planned. Not something that you got talked into doing. Something that you wanted to do and planned yourself.
For a lot of people suffering from burnout, “doing something for fun” not only means nothing to them because they have no idea what they would do for fun, it also sounds damned exhausting.
When you are suffering from burnout, you don’t have the mental energy to devote to anything outside of getting through your day, and you’re so tired (see #2) that you don’t have the physical energy to think about going out.
If going out sounds more like a chore than anything else, you need to ask yourself why.
2. You Are Tired All Day Every Day
Can you remember the last time you didn’t feel tired? Can you remember a time recently that you woke up and felt rested and looked forward to your day?
A permanent state of exhaustion is NOT a status symbol. It doesn’t mean you’re more successful than everyone else. It doesn’t mean you’re more important either. It means you’re more exhausted than everyone else, and that impacts your body and your mind in so many detrimental ways.
The culture of “busyness” that has been created in our society is beyond harmful, and one of the main things that leads to such a high rate of burnout. Not only busyness at work, but busyness at home, busyness for kids, everyone stays busy. This narrative that if you’re not busy you’re lazy is also complete bullshit. Rest and sleep and leisure time is essential for our health and well-being.
Being tired all day every day means that you are wearing your body down. This will catch up to you eventually, and it will not be pretty. Trust me on that.
Image by @HOWLINGRED70
3. You Do Everything On Autopilot
Do you remember everything that you did most days? What did you eat for lunch yesterday? Did you listen to music on your way home? What did you do after dinner? Most of the time, a big ol’ helping of burnout means that you are on complete autopilot throughout your days.
You get up, you go to work or you run your errands or you take care of the kids (or all three!). Somewhere in there, hopefully, you eat something. In the evening you might watch TV or read a book or cook dinner. Then you go to bed and get up and do the whole thing again the next day.
If you were pressed, though, to name specific instances of things on certain days you probably wouldn’t be able to. Reason being that you are moving through your days mostly on autopilot.
You’ve overloaded your system by trying to keep doing all the things even though you’re completely drained. You can’t function at 100%, so you’re doing what you can by rote.
4. Your Body Is Trying To Tell You Something
Have you noticed that you feel kind of weird lately? You may not be able to say exactly what feels weird, but you just feel “off”?
Are you sleeping more, or have you lost your appetite, or is there something else you can’t explain but that is unusual?
Friend, your body is trying to tell you something. Deviations in how your body usually feels is a big, huge, major red flag. It’s also one of the MOST ignored signs of burnout and fatigue.
Doctors and the healthcare system at large can be a scary, complicated mess. That said, ignoring cues from our body is the worst thing you can do. If you will pay attention to the messages your body is sending, and care for it accordingly, you can prevent a lot of wear and tear and future issues.
This was the ultimate lesson for me that led me to self-care. Ignoring my body literally almost killed me. Today, if something seems odd, I am on the phone to someone who can evaluate it ASAP.
Image by: @kellysikkema
5. You're Miserable, And It Feels Like Nothing Will Ever Change
I bet you’ve said it. To yourself, to your friends, maybe to your family. Maybe you’ve done a couple hundred things trying to fix yourself so that you can stop saying it.
“I can’t live like this. Something has got to change.”
Again, most of the time, when you say that to yourself, your automatic assumption is that the “something” that needs to change is YOU. Not true.
If you are completely burned out, your circumstances and environment is probably what needs to change. The problem is, in the middle of a big burnout cycle, it does not feel like anything will EVER change. You start to really believe that, and that makes the despair of the burnout worse. It turns into a vicious cycle.
I can assure you that things WILL get better. Nothing is wrong with YOU.
6. Your Reactions and Emotions Are Extreme
Small things can feel like very big things in the middle of burnout, and very big things can feel like something that you need to just ignore. It can be extremely difficult to deal with “one more thing” or feel unsupported when dealing with the mental, emotional and physical fallout from burnout.
I will make the caveat here that if there is an aspect of neurodiversity or mental illness in your life, it can be a contributing factor to burnout. It can also make burnout worse. It can also masquerade as burnout. If you are dealing with that, I know that having a mental health partner, whether it be a therapist or some other practitioner, can be immensely helpful.
You may find yourself very tearful, or exceptionally sensitive to things. It may be hard to articulate WHY you feel that way.
Burnout makes everything harder, and having to deal with your emotions and interacting with others is harder, too.
Image by @icons8
7. Old Patterns Become the Norm Due To Overwhelm
Any time you become incredibly overwhelmed, falling into old patterns feels comforting and easier than keeping new patterns in place and fighting the fatigue and hardship of burnout at the same time.
One way I always know I am doing too much at one time and getting closer to crashing and burning is that I start running late to things. I have worked so hard over the years to combat running late all the time. As soon as overwhelm hits, I am once again tardy to all the things.
Are you snoozing your alarm more? Skipping certain routines? Maybe ordering takeout instead of cooking? It’s burnout, babe.
Some of this is related to not having the mental or physical bandwidth to certain things, like cooking. Some of it is the fact that your body is trying to slow you down and you aren’t paying attention to it. If you’re noticing that you’re falling into patterns you haven’t been in for a while, check for overwhelm, and adjust where you can.
Surviving Burnout
Burnout can be incredibly hard to break through, and doing so takes some work and willingness to try new things. It is absolutely worth it.
Long-term burnout can be devastating to your body physically, and to your mental and emotional health. If you believe you are suffering from burnout, working to recover from it NOW is the key.
In my burnout recovery, I found self-care, and I believe that it can relieve the effects of burnout and help you to not fall into burnout again in the future.
Experiencing burnout? Want some beginner ideas for ways to reverse it? Click here for the link to my free Beginner Self-Care Video Workshop!