Self-Care Practices Aren’t Universal
If I have said it once, I’ve said it a million times…self-care is 1000% individualized.
Just like you’d be extremely hard-pressed to find another person on the planet who has the exact same likes and dislikes as you, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who has the exact same self-care preferences.
While there are some general ideas that are universal - you need to eat and hydrate and sleep - everything else is up for interpretation.
That’s why it’s really difficult to achieve true transformative self-care when you’re depending on the cultural norms and cliches surrounding it.
Hot baths and girls nights can absolutely be self-care, but they may not be the self-care practices YOU need.
When you get down into the deep work of self-care, you find that a lot of things can become key to your individual self-care, and some of them are completely unexpected.
5 Unexpected Things that Totally Count as Self-Care:
1. Finding a Time Management Technique That Works for You
Feeling overwhelmed? Don’t know how to get all the things done in a day?
What you need, my friend, is a time management technique that works for you. Figuring out a way to manage your time is an often overlooked way to help take care of yourself.
By managing your time well, and getting more done during the day, you give your brain the ability to rest, and not have to be going all the time, when you have so many things that need to be done.
There are a ton of different thoughts on time management out there. The key here is to find the one that works for YOU.
Do you work better at a certain time of day? Do you do best when you work in short bursts? Does your brain needs to do the bigger, harder tasks first (this is me!)? Is time blocking something that might work for you?
One of my favorite books to recommend when you’re working to learn more about how you work best is Getting Things Done by David Allen (this book is listed on my Resources Page!)
Feeling good about how you’re using your time will make you feel good about a lot of things.
Image by @MALVEStiDA
2. Setting and Sticking to Firm Boundaries
Let’s talk boundaries.
They’re hard. Sometimes they really really suck.
They are also one of the very best things you can do for yourself from a self-care perspective because they allow you to focus on YOU and not the toxic or draining shit going on around you.
Setting boundaries is one thing. You can set boundaries around just about anything - relationships, bedtimes, work schedules, or the splitting of responsibilities at home, to name a few.
STICKING to those boundaries is another thing entirely and takes patience and practice.
It can be incredibly easy, especially in the beginning, to decide that a boundary doesn’t really need to exist or is maybe too extreme. The thing is, we usually don’t set boundaries around things until they’ve gotten pretty unbearable.
Once things have gotten to a point where we need to set boundaries, sticking to them makes it easier on us and those around us to adjust to them more quickly.
3.Resting in Order to Boost Your Productivity
Resting and productivity go hand in hand.
You can’t produce work you’re proud of if you’re exhausted. Also, you don’t always have to produce work you’re proud of!Some days, just getting your work done to a satisfactory degree is the goal.
In those times, that you want to produce great work though, resting is just as important as working. You cannot keep going and going and going with no rest.
When you are rested and feel good, your productivity levels tend to trend up, and the quality of your work does, too. If you are trying to get something done while completely tapped out physically and mentally, chances are what you produce will reflect your exhaustion.
If you are in a position where you cannot get a project done, or you feel distracted or unable to get going on something, see what happens if you take a nap.
If not a nap, what happens if you take a break? Walking away, even just for a minute, can be the catalyst for refreshing your brain and unlocking the flow you need for your project.
4. Saying "No"
How often do you say “yes” when what you really want to say is “no”?
So many people take on a shit ton more than they want or are really able to because they don’t want to say no.
You are never required to say yes. Read that again. Under no circumstances are you ever required to say yes.
Sometimes people feel obligated because of who is asking. Sometimes they think it will help with their career or social standing. Sometimes they just want to be included and they feel like saying yes is a good way to do that.
NONE of that is worth the mental, physical, and sometimes emotional toll it takes on you when you say yes to something you are not excited about.
Oftentimes whatever you’ve said yes to becomes a chore or something you dread. Then it becomes hard to extricate yourself from it.
The whole thing becomes a MESS.
The best way to avoid wishing you’d never said yes in the first place is to just say no.
Image by: @EMILIOTAKAS
5. Making Choices About Your Finances
Money and where you stand from a financial perspective can be so damn stressful.
For a lot of people. the path of least resistance is to just ignore the whole money thing and hope it all works out. “I can pay my bills! I’m fine.”
One of the hardest things to do that will have the biggest impact on your self-care and your emotional and mental health is getting a handle on your money situation.
Even if it turns out that you’re dead broke (and believe me, we have ALL been there!), knowing instead of worrying about it will help you feel more in control. Knowing where you stand also gives you the opportunity to make decisions that can help you.
Whether it’s taking out a loan to take some financial pressure off, or setting up an automatic savings account so $5 a week goes to savings, having the information to make more choices is powerful.
I can guarantee you, as someone who used to fly by the seat of their pants money-wise, that facing the situation and making some choices is way easier that ignoring the whole thing. Plus, feeling good about the choices you’re making and what you are working toward gives you peace of mind.
There are a million and one ways to look at your finances and make more sense of it. Putting every outgoing expense down on paper is a great place to start. If you live in a place with community banks, call one and ask them for a list of free or low-cost resources.
There are also a ton of budgeting apps out there. You Need A Budget is one that a lot of people I know use. I have also known people who had good experience with Living Well Spending Less. I also recommend the book The Financial Diet, which is listed in the Resources on my website.
Making choices and knowing where you stand will make you feel so empowered.
Your Self-Care Should Work for YOU
Whether the practices you employ for your daily self-care regimen are common or not, they need to work for YOU.
Even if you think, “I’m not sure this counts as self-care,” if it helps your mental, emotional and/or physical health, it absolutely is!
What’s great about self-care is that you can make it whatever you need it to be. As long as you are feeling better and making progress, that’s what matters!
If you’re wondering where to start and want to learn more about self-care in general, click here for the link to my free Beginner Self-Care Video Workshop! It will take you through my Three Pillars framework and give you ideas on how to start working toward self-care in your daily life.