The Tip

Radical transformation does not happen overnight. This is the thing that probably causes the most frustration for every single one of my clients. It also takes focus to create long-lasting change. Too much, too soon is a recipe for disaster. That's why the first and most important tip I can give is to approach the start of your self-care journey with small, actionable steps.

I know! That's such a bummer, huh? You want change NOW. Today. Before 5:00 if possible. Belive me when I tell you that we have all been there. We have also all completely burned out when we have tried to implement all the changes all at once right this minute.

Why Not All the Things at Once?

Just like with building a house or a work project or any renovation, you cannot do everything at once. There are steps to follow, and unfortunately, you have to do the steps in order.

It is impossible to change everything all at once. You cannot overhaul your entire routine and expect it to stick.

Whether we want to hear it or not, incremental change that is doable long-term, put into place over time, has a higher success rate.

If you try to go from zero to sixty, overwhelm and burnout will quickly follow. I should know. This was one of the main reasons that I started helping people with self-care. When I did this myself, I did way too much too soon, burned out completely, and decided I had failed at self care.

Yes, I know. It's ridiculous, but at the time I totally believed it.

I had tried several times to make changes in my life before I started diligently working on my self-care. The problem for me was that I always decided that it had to be an all or nothing situation.

I was not going to eat anything that was "unhealthy".

I was going to sleep. X number of hours a night, no matter what happened before bedtime.

I was going to walk X number of miles on my treadmill even if I hadn't been exercising for six months.

There was always this idea that if I could just do the thing, and do it consistently eventually it would become easier.

What I was neglecting to understand, or neglecting to notice in these patterns of trying to do the thing and failing to do the thing, was that I was trying to go from zero to sixty every single time.

There was no easing in, no incremental change, no slow start. It was I am not doing this thing and now I am doing this thing and if I am doing this thing, I am going to change my life.

Guess what? That does not work.

Since I didn't have a lot of help, I didn't have any guidance about how long-term change could be achieved. It took me a long time to realize that small actionable steps were the key. And that's why I preach them so much.

You cannot achieve long-lasting consistent self-care without becoming really, really accepting of slow growth and small changes over time that lead to radical change and transformation in the long term.

Some Easy Ways to Implement Small, Actionable Steps

So what even are "small, actionable steps?" Here are a couple easy ways to think about how to approach incremental, long-term changes:

Make "more" or "less" your goal, and increase or decrease in stages

If you're wanting to stop doing something limit yourself to less time instead of trying to stop altogether. Example: Work to do 30 minutes less of that thing every day, or to stop that thing at an earlier time every day.

If you're wanting to create a new habit, work to add more of that habit into your everyday. Example: Want to drink more water? Instead of going drinking 12 ounces of water a day to a gallon of water a day, slowly increase how much you're drinking by a few ounces each week until you've met your goal.

Set Alarms

Encourage yourself to do the thing every day by setting an alarm.

Set an alarm to remind yourself to go to bed, drink another glass of water, walk a flight of stairs, eat a healthy snack, stop working for the day, or text a friend.

Start with one intention and one alarm. Add more and delete old ones as you create the habits you're working toward. There are also different apps for this. I use Reminders on my iPhone.

Call in Reinforcements and Support

Making sure you have a few people around you that can support you as you build your self-care regimen is something I highly highly encourage.

Those people can be a great resource when you are working on small steps toward bigger goals. They can check in a couple times a week, making sure you aren't taking on too much, or ask if you've stayed consistent with a goal.

Support and accountability are amazing when you are working on radical change and long-term transformation.

Set Up a Healthy Reward System

If you saw my Instagram stories last week, you know that one day I had to bribe myself with an afternoon of reading my new novel in order to get myself to get my work done.

You do what you gotta do! Ha!

Healthy rewards (which I define as any reward that doesn't cause you to fall into negative patterns) are a great way to motivate yourself.

Hitting your water goal for several weeks may mean you can purchase that fancy water bottle.

Stopping work on time for a whole week may mean ordering in dinner instead of cooking and watching a movie.

Whatever rewards you decide on, make sure they, too, serve you best in the long run.

There are Other Advantages to Small, Actionable Steps

Somewhere along the way of making these big changes over time through small steps, you start to learn more about yourself.

It starts to become second nature to not engage in the things that you know lend chaos to your self-care routine.

It's really hard to recognize those patterns in the beginning because you have not even recognized the patterns that make your self-care work for you. That's what is so great about slowly changing instead of coming in hot with go big or go home attitude.

It very rarely gives you insight into how better to approach things next time, because all you know is you tried that one thing and it didn't work.

By making small changes over time, you can adjust as you go, until you've discovered the best way that thing works for you.

You have to find the patterns that work so that you can find the patterns that don't. You can't find any patterns whatsoever if you are looking at way too much data at once.

There are so many ways that small, actionable steps help as you begin a self-care journey. I truly believe it is the only way to build a self-care regimen that leads to a radical transformation over time. It may seem like slow going, and there will be days that it is tempting to try and jump to the end of the line.

If you continue on with incremental growth over time, you will look back later and realize that you made amazing changes that stuck, and that's because you didn't do too much all at once. You took it one small, actionable step at a time.

Looking to partner with someone as you work on your own long-term self-care regimen? Schedule your free Introductory Call here to learn more about my services and find out if working with me is what you've been looking for.