GIFs and Memes
"It was a crime of passion, Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled."
Last week, I shared this quote from the American version of The Office with a screenshot of the definition (and evidence of the actual existence) of the word "gruntled" in a fan group for The Office I'm in.
Most of the time, that's what that group is: sharing funny things that we find on the internet and relating them in some way back to our favorite show of all time, OR sharing fun things we find on the internet ABOUT our favorite show of all time.
Occasionally though, someone comes in hot with some level of personal or professional tragedy and we rally.
"I was dumped this weekend, please send funny memes and pictures of baby animals."
"My cat died this weekend, please send your favorite Office Gifs, because I have to go to work and I don't want to cry all day."
"My husband died last night and I have a lot to get through today, please send all the funny Office things."
It Totally IS Support
That last one was me, almost a year ago.
My husband had also been in that group, and we had both participated in a gift exchange at one point, we had actual, IRL friends in there.
It might seem weird, but that's one of the first groups I wanted to notify after he died.
This is also the case with a group I'm in with fans of Schitt's Creek (a bunch of their members shared my husband's GoFundMe when we were collecting for his transplant on their personal pages, despite not really knowing us), and my favorite corner of the internet - The Connection Collective, a group for small business owners founded by my friend Megan Dowd.
Their support doesn't just show up with the tragedies either - several of them kept me company while I stayed awake the whole night at the hospital when my best friend had her baby.
We celebrate each other's wins, big and small.
It may not be what people think of when they hear "support," especially in a world where a lot of people seem to think you can't form real bonds through a screen, but it absolutely IS support.
When you need support, if you can't find it where you are, it's important to be able to find it somewhere.
IRL Not Required
An in-real-life connection is NOT required to be supported by your people.
If you are working to take care of yourself and your in-real-life connections don't get it, a non-traditional form of support may be the best way for you to get the support you crave.
Having a group of humans who have no preconceived notions about who you are or what you are about, and who will do nothing but throw their unconditional support behind you, can make things so much easier in a situation where you are trying to make changes or put boundaries in place.
A lot of the time, a self-care routine can get completely derailed when someone you know well and love and respect expresses doubt about whether you CAN do something or whether you SHOULD do something, under the guise of support.
That's not really support, friends, and support is important.
Why IS support so important, anyway?
Why Support is So Important
It takes a lot, especially in the beginning, to decide that you want to make a change AND to stick to it.
It also takes a WHOLE lot to prioritize yourself in a world that tells you that you should always be going, going, going and doing, doing, doing.
If you are surrounded by people that subscribe to that ideology, or to people that can't break away from societal expectations, you're going to be getting a lot of messaging that what you're doing isn't a good thing.
If you have a refuge (even if it's online) to turn to full of people that support you no matter what, understand your motivations, and back up your decisions, it will be easier to withstand that other contradictory messaging. In fact, you’ll probably be extremely gruntled, if I had to guess. 😉
IMAGE BY: @THOUGHTCATALOG
You Are Not the Only One
Humans, for the most part, have not clued in yet to the fact that hustle culture, working ourselves past the point of exhaustion, or busyness as a status symbol are all unhealthy and unsustainable.
When you are making self-care a bigger part of your everyday life, it can feel like you are the only one on the planet trying to make that shift.
YOU ARE NOT.
There are communities - real and online - that will envelop you and make you feel seen and encourage you to carry on.
With their support, when you do, you will find yourself feeling more and more like your true self, and it is a beautiful, scary, wonderful thing.
With unconditional support (and Gifs...and memes) behind you, you can build better self-care, and begin to feel unshakeable in your commitment to yourself.
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