A Morning and Evening Routine is the Self-Care Piece I Was Missing
For years and years and years I have wanted to be the person that had a solid and consistent morning and evening routine.
I could NEVER get there.
I figured since I was still functioning and living life and doing pretty well for myself, maybe a morning and evening routine was just something I didn’t necessarily need, even though I felt like it would help me.
Boy howdy was I wrong.
Since getting a consistent morning and evening routine in place, I have realized it was the piece of my self-care regimen that was really missing.
I never really felt like my day “started” exactly, and I never had a way to wind down and “end” my day either. Now that I do, it has helped me so much to feel more at ease during the day and help my days feel more structured.
Why Routines Didn't Work For Me
What I discovered when I started doing the work to see if I could actually build a functioning morning and evening routine, is that like most things for me, rigidity did not mesh well with my self-care.
I went into this experiment believing that a morning or evening routine had to follow a very specific TIMED schedule. At 7 AM, I must blah blah, at 7:10 I must whatever.
This belief is why I could NEVER manage to stick to a routine I tried to put into place, because what happened if I slept until 7:15? I had already screwed up my entire routine.
More often that not, I would miss a self-imposed deadline, and that would be the end of that.
Breaking down that belief and applying flexibility to my routines is what eventually made all the difference.
IMAGE BY CHUTTERSNAP
What I Discovered Did Work
When I pulled back and looked at what I wanted in a routine, I realized it wasn't the specific timing I was concerned with, but the actions I wanted to take and when those actions happened in relation to when I woke up and when I went to bed.
This discovery flipped a switch, and I was able to realize that if I knew WHAT I wanted to do, and WHEN I wanted to do it in relation to waking and sleeping, I could create routines that allowed flexibility but still achieved the end goal.
For me, there were only a few things in both the morning and the evening that I wanted to do, and some of them were the same things at both times.
In the morning, my priorities were to get the dogs out, fed, and snuggled, then take my meds and supplements and a walk before getting a jumpstart on my water intake for the day. I wanted all of this to happen within an hour of me waking up.
At night, within two hours of lights out, I wanted to put the dogs out, give the older one her meds, let them snuggle with me for a bit, and crate them, and also meditate, take my meds, update my planner and plan for the next day, before reading and going to sleep.
Thinking of my routine as more of a checklist that had a certain time limit on it, instead of a rigidly scheduled number of events, made it feel incredibly more doable, and both routines helped me to feel calm and prepared for my days - the ultimate goal.
The Question You Need to Ask Yourself
The ultimate goal of your morning and evening routines is one of the most important things to get clear about.
The only way to get clarity on that is to ask yourself the question, “How do I want to FEEL when I start my day and when I end it?”
This will be a much easier question to ask if you know how you DON’T want to feel because your current situation is rather chaotic.
If you’re just kind of floating through your days and doing “okay,” you may need to think about this a bit.
After you’ve recognized how you want to feel, the next thing to decide on is what you can do daily to make it easier for you to feel that way. What consistent actions can you take that would lead either immediately or eventually to you feeling the way you want to on a daily basis?
IMAGE BY DANIELLE COMER CREATIVE
Considerations as You Build A Morning and Evening Routine
Tapping into What Will Create A Fulfilling Day - After you’ve recognized how you want to feel, the next thing to decide on is what you can do daily to make it easier for you to feel that way. What consistent actions can you take that would lead either immediately or eventually to you feeling the way you want to on a daily basis?
Common Obstacles -
Inconsistent schedule - This is a big one, and one way you can tackle this is to set up an alternate routine schedule. On these days, these are my routines, on these days, these are my routines. Remember that this has to work for you, and if a routine doesn’t work on a certain day because of your schedule, you can totally change it up.
Feelings of failure if you don't get it done - you are probably not going to get into a rhythm with your routines for a little bit. Start small, ease in, and focus on the things that you feel will make the biggest impact.
Too much rigidity - This is where that idea of flexibility will do wonders. Where can insert some wiggle room? What can you restructure so it’s not quite so rigid?
Dependence on you by other people, leaving little time for yourself - this is one of the biggest obstacles and it can be hard to tackle. Can you work any part of a routine for yourself into the nooks and crannies between your obligations to others? Can you multitask? I know it is not ideal, but even one or two things for yourself in the midst of being the one that is depended upon can be crucial to not only your self-care, but your overall mental health.
Not knowing what to focus on - What would help you the very most right this minute? That is what you need to focus on.
Common Mistakes - A routine does not have to have 10 steps. Can be two or three things you do every morning and/or evening just for you. That “just for you” bit is important as well. You have to be happy and fulfilled about what you are achieving with this routine, no one else. Make sure you are aligned with your routines, and are taking what you want into consideration.
You Can Build A Morning and Evening Routine
You can ABSOLUTELY build a morning and evening routine that works for you.
Even if you’ve tried multiple times over the years and couldn’t get anything to stick.
Even if it feels overwhelming.
It is totally doable.
Focus on how you want to feel. Start small. Include flexibility. Ease in. Remember that new things take time to put in place.
I’ve created this Routine Worksheet for you to use to get your thoughts down on paper, and for you to use multiples of if you need to create alternate routines for different days. You can download it here. Happy routine building, friends!